This week was my first week of radiation therapy. With a combination of oxycodone and tramadol, I'm able to lie flat on the table long enough for them to do the treatment; it still hurts to lie flat on the table, but I can manage it. I can't believe that even with all these strong painkillers, I still hurt this much.
I'm so tired and unhappy. I don't find fun in anything anymore. It's a chore to even write these sentences. I don't feel like writing, or reading, or playing videogames or listening to music. I haven't worked on games programming in forever. Before my back started hurting and it became a moot point, I didn't even feel like exercise.
The emotional ups and downs have been just as hard as the physical ones. My entire life has been turned upside-down, and at this point it's still unclear if it will ever return to normal. The only way I've been able to make it by is to not think about it too deeply.
No comments:
Post a Comment