Originally, this post was a lot more downtrodden. It was written and scheduled to be released, it was long and sad, and I wasn't going to touch it.
You can already read plenty about my sadness. It's all I've written about for five entries now. That's not the sum of my life, and it definitely wasn't true tonight.
Today got off to a rocky start. Mom and I fought some. I lost my temper when she muttered something that I thought was about me. I got my final radiation treatment, then we ate some awful overpriced Mexican food. I got lost in my own world, thinking about the weeks that I would be without my wife, thinking about how lonely I'll be in a big, unfamiliar city with only my mom and a dozen or so nursing assistants for company.
Tonight I was going to see my best friend. I planned to spill my guts to him, to let everything off my chest in one big ball all at once. But once I was in the car, I forgot why I was even upset.
We blasted music in the car. We hung out in the dopest comic and games store I've ever seen in my life. We talked about sex, booze, games and the Internet in the way that only best friends from college can. We had a push-up contest in his tiny bedroom. I did my first ever pull-up. We cussed, we chowed down on Taco Bell, we talked about our lives. I teased him about his crush on Taylor Swift, he teased me about liking metal music. Most importantly, we were just ourselves.
It reminded me that I'm young and still alive. These hospital trips and all this medicine and all these treatments are not the rest of my life. The love of my life is at home waiting for me, there are people out there who share my interests and my passion, and there's at least one guy out there who just gets me.
There's no reason to act like this is the end. I'm going to make it. I'm not alone.
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