Thursday was the first actual visit concerning CAR T therapy since my doctor and I initially discussed it. There's nothing really much to say. All I got from it is that it will involve yet more chemotherapy. The date looms ever larger; I leave on Monday.
It will be difficult. I'm going to be so lonely in Portland that I will feel like dying. I will miss my wife so badly that it will feel like my arms and legs are missing. Somehow, I have to keep the faith that this is temporary, that my life will return to normal at some point, that things aren't over yet.
All I truthfully want is an apartment with my wife, a car, and a steady job. I have to believe that I will get there eventually.
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